It's been a while since I took you inside my journal; I thought I'd do so today. By doing so, I am also hitting my goal of having an article published in March. Yay me!
If this is your first time reading an article I wrote, Welcome inside my Journal! If not, Welcome Back; how I've missed you reading!
A while back, I recorded a video titled "to love is to forgive." I recorded that video when I was on a high for Jesus. I want to believe that I am still on fire for the Lord, but sometimes my walk suggests otherwise. I read a couple of verses that reminded me of that video, and for some reason, I don't feel the same way I felt a few years back about forgiveness.
"Colossians 3:12-13 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if anyone of you has grieviance against someone. Forgive them as the Lord forgave you."
"Forgive just as the Lord forgave you" is such an easy thing to say but such a hard concept to deal with, especially when you have people that have hurt you beyond what words can express. In different passages in the bible, we see how God clearly tells us we should forgive others, but it's hard. I would often rationalize why such a person does not deserve my forgiveness. I mean, how could you hurt me so bad and earn my forgiveness? Why should I forgive someone who isn't sorry? It doesn't make sense.
There was a time that I couldn't even be in the same room as someone who hurt me. The bitterness was so deep that my mood would change just with the thought of that person being in the same room as me. When they are near me, everything changes. That was worse for me than the other person. They were having fun while I was bitter. My bitterness affected me more than it affected them.
You are in bondage when you don't forgive. The weight we carry when someone is on our heart is so heavy. It took me a long time to realize that we are truly free once we let go and forgive. There are different types of relationships. Some forgive and have to continue living with the person; some never have to see them again. I had both. I would lie to myself thinking that I have forgiven that person and later realize that I never forgave them; it is just that we never had to see each other again. Sometimes, I would forgive them, but they would do worse than the previous thing. This is always my JESUS I need you moment.
Jesus Christ came to die for us ALL. He died for the salvation of our sins. Now Imagine that! I was 22 when I realized the importance of Christ's death for me. I spent 22 years sinning without any remorse without asking for forgiveness. I spent those years not CARING, yet he loved me throughout those times. When he called me by name to follow him, he opened my eyes and my heart. Only then did I realize the weight of my sins and how much I needed forgiveness. I have been free ever since.
Only Christ can forgive our sins, and only he can give us the power to forgive truly. I know this hardship all too well. But, I want to encourage you to pray for whomever you have on your heart that you cannot forgive. Pray that the Lord will give you the strength. Remember, you are in bondage when you don't forgive, so free yourself!
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Xoxo,
DD
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